Saturday, 06 June 2009

• The Mutual Submission of Man and Wife: Ephesians 5:17-33

  Ephesians 5:17-33 (ESV)
  

  Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Holy Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall becomes one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
  
  

       My wife had a hard childhood. Her father was a bully and used this passage from Ephesians 5:18-24 to browbeat the girls and his wife into submission. This passage has also been used against Christians from many hostile quarters, declaring that this is just one of many examples of Christianity's misogynistic roots. And, indeed, this passage does seem a little odd. A women should submit to her husband and do whatever he says? Preposterous!
       But, that's not the point of this text.
       To set the context, the next chapter starts with children obeying their parents, fathers not making their children angry, and then discusses the master-slave relationship, which is another passage used to assert the idea that the Bible endorses slavery. And, indeed, it seems to do just that!
       But, if one were to simply look at the verse above in 5:21, the entire spirit of this text is exceedingly beautiful and difficult to do. Verse 5:21, "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." Now, let's look back at 22-33 and see how it reads differently, now:
  

  "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hatred his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects the husband."
  

       Verse 21 puts this passage in the context of mutual submission. First, Paul tells us to mutually submit to one another, then he explains how. Women, out of reverence for Christ, submit to their husbands and respect them. Not because their husbands are respectable, but because they are commanded by God's holy word to do so. Men, in turn, submit by dying. That does not mean throwing ones self in front of a bullet or a train for his wife, although if the opportunity arises a husband should physically die for his wife. Instead, what I think "gave himself up for her" means is that Christ took all his glory, power, and authority and gave it all up. Then, he came down and even gave up his life for the church. What this means for husbands is that they, too, must give up everything they are to help their wives becomes "...without spot or wrinkle or any such thing." We are instructed by God's word to help our wives in their spiritual journey. Does this mean they are incapable of doing so? I don't think the answer is given to us in Scripture and neither does it matter. God has placed the burden of our marriage relationship squarely on our shoulders. Who was it that God first called out to after Adam and Eve ate of the tree? Adam. The man. God did so knowing full well Eve was the first to be tempted.
        In regards to the passages in chapter 6, then, children submit to their parents by obeying. Parents submit to their children by not provoking them to anger. Children will become angry, obviously, but they should never be provoked into anger by teasing or harsh words. Slaves, then, submit to their masters by being honest and hard-working. Masters, on the other hand, submit by treating their slaves well.
        There is a deep seeded hatred for slavery, in America and Britain in general, and thus the Bible is seen as condoning slaves. However, taking a cue from Jesus in Matthew 19:7, because slavery was so common in the ancient world, it must be regulated; otherwise, because we are sinful, the ancient Christians would mistreat their slaves as everyone else did. From the context of Ephesians 5:21, a master and a slave are equal and must mutually submit to one another and the master should not, ever, do what the slave-masters did in the days before abolition.
       There is one more thing I want to discuss before closing out this post, and that's of the stay-at-home mom. Very often, these women are regarded as not living up to their full potential. They are seen as being enslaved, entrapped, and stunted. Many see them as the domesticated, subservient women portrayed in 1950's television shows. Housework, such as cooking and cleaning, is seen as being menial, as opposed to what a women could be doing, such as becoming a scientist, a mathematician, or the like. Housework is looked down upon.
        The notion that housework is degarding comes from the Enlightenment, which, along with Platonic philosophy, fractured daily life into two realms; the higher realms of the mental and the lower realms of the menial. The mental realm is seen as that which is perfect and good (i.e., logic, math, science, etc.), while the menial realm is where people sweep and build bridges. Those tasks are seen as for those who are dumb or useless otherwise. The higher realm was for the learned peoples; yes, often men because they were educated.
       I think this is why housewives are looked down upon. They live and move in the menial realms while their husbands exist in the higher realms. This is completely wrong. The Bible makes to distinction between these two realms. Indeed, Paul says, "whether you eat or drink or whatever you do it all for the glory of God." (1 Cor. 10:31.) Paul instructs the Corinthian church to do everything for the glory of God, without a qualitative distinction. Thus, a women, in an apron, scrubbing last night's dinner off an iron skillet glorifies God just as much as a man making a seven figure salary. In fact, she is more likely bringing glory to God glory than he, since Jesus declares it's "...easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Luke 18:25)
       The problem with discussing Biblical passages is that it is limited by my own mental abilities. There is so much more to say on this subject, but this post is already one of the longest I've ever written, so I'll conclude thus.
       The Bible is not misogynistic, nor does it allow men to bully women. The only men a women should be submitting herself to is HER OWN HUSBAND. I cannot bring enough attention to that one fact. Women do not submit to all men, but only to their husbands.
       Men; die everyday for your wives. Do not hold on to your selfish tendencies to always be comfortable. Be willing to sacrifice time with the guys, your collection of shootem-ups films, or even stop going fishing or hunting if you see your wife floundering from lack of love and affection. Sacrifice, men! Sacrifice!
       We are commanded by Ephesians 5:21 to submit to one another and verses 22 through 6:9 tells us how. This passage is not patriarchal, misogynistic, adultist, nor condoning of slavery. It is the instruction manual for all becoming equal in Christ and not thinking  "...of yourself more highly than you ought..." (Romans 12:3) but rather "...with humility think of others as being better than yourselves." (Phil. 2:3).
  

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